Shanghai offers, apparently, some of the finest dining in China.
So it was with some excitement that we, alongside our increasingly international retinue of companions - a kind of gastronomic group of UN food inspectors perhaps - set off up East Nanjing Rd in search of sustenance.
Whilst the range of options was not disappointing, the lack of English - or indeed any comprehensible language - was a bit of a hindrance. We were therefore delighted to meet a friendly chap who accosted as we strolled down a little street, bathed in neon, seething with suicidal cyclists and raucous street vendors.
A few minutes later, having been ushered into his restaurant, we congratulated ourselves on our good fortune, our enthusiastic waiter hovering over us and pointing our particular delicacies we might like to sample.
We surveyed the range of options - a mighty impressive variety. Looking down the menu, particular dishes which caught one’s eye included the following:
The oil explodes the ricefield eel silk food
The hairy crab meets the oil
Steams the young lad chicken
The peas fry the sausage
Burns the juice eggplant to clamp the meat
Grandmother red roasted pork
Fried bamboo shoots with shepherd
The hairy crab fries the lunar new year cake
Opium fish head
So it was with some excitement that we, alongside our increasingly international retinue of companions - a kind of gastronomic group of UN food inspectors perhaps - set off up East Nanjing Rd in search of sustenance.
Whilst the range of options was not disappointing, the lack of English - or indeed any comprehensible language - was a bit of a hindrance. We were therefore delighted to meet a friendly chap who accosted as we strolled down a little street, bathed in neon, seething with suicidal cyclists and raucous street vendors.
A few minutes later, having been ushered into his restaurant, we congratulated ourselves on our good fortune, our enthusiastic waiter hovering over us and pointing our particular delicacies we might like to sample.
We surveyed the range of options - a mighty impressive variety. Looking down the menu, particular dishes which caught one’s eye included the following:
The oil explodes the ricefield eel silk food
The hairy crab meets the oil
Steams the young lad chicken
The peas fry the sausage
Burns the juice eggplant to clamp the meat
Grandmother red roasted pork
Fried bamboo shoots with shepherd
The hairy crab fries the lunar new year cake
Opium fish head
Hmmm...seems like the Chinese are not just talented at manufacturing products, but their marketing is rapidly becoming the envy of the world as well.
Surely the great titans of British retail could learn a thing or two here. Tesco would mop up any remaining vestiges of the market they may have failed to penetrate if only they detailed such hairy crab adventures on their packaging.
And whilst they're at it, why not go a little further and experiment a bit more with the ingredients. I'm sure the adventurous customers at Waitrose would just die for a good deep-fried granny or sauted shepherd.
Can I press you to an opium fish head, vicar?
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