Tourist soap

There it was. Laid on especially for us along with the buses, tours and guides. Tourist soap. We have become tourist soap. Pieces of white matter packaged into boxes and taken around the country to be distributed in hotels and restaurants to order. Tourist soap is in particular demand at World Heritage Sites, UNESCO designated towns and areas seeking recognition as one of the Wonders of the World.

Being tourist soap is a claustrophobic feeling that creeps up on you and makes you mad at yourself for feeling grumpy in incredible places. I first realised I was tourist soap when I was delivered to a guesthouse in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, my feet having hardly touched the ground since Siem Reap. We were collected from our hotel in a minibus (where we did actually have to touch the ground to wade through knee-high flood water to get on the bus) that then collected other specimens from their respective hotels to be shuttled to a waiting tourist coach. We jumped from one bus to another and were driven to the centre of Phnom Penh where a tuk tuk from our guesthouse picked us up and whisked us away. The next day we went on a tour to the Killing Fields with delivery to and from the guesthouse front door. After twenty-four hours I realised that I hadn’t even wandered independently into town and had not been on public transport with a local, other than behind the driving wheel.

Nice and convenient really. There is a well developed tourist infrastructure between the sights in S.E. Asia that makes travel cheap, quick and convenient. So we repeated the whole shuttle-bus-hotel-tour cycle in Saigon and the pattern continued up the Vietnam coast. All our transport and activities were booked through the guesthouse and every time they were full of cakes of tourist soap.

If I’m so quick to whinge, why didn’t I do something different, you may ask. Well, it’s just so easy to let your guesthouse organise it all, and very difficult to find out about options otherwise. Plus it’s cheaper. The tourist sleeper bus costs $5 for a 10-hour journey. The same journey on the train costs $15 and took 12 hours, in addition to the extra time and cost of transport to and from train stations to the town centre. I didn’t mind being tourist soap most of the time, and it is nice to talk to others and exchange tips in English, but it was the first time it had happened on this trip and it just felt odd.

At times it did become suffocating. The most stifling was the Halong Bay tour (we were assured that a tour is the best way to see the natural wonders) where the tour guides couldn’t recognise you from Adam and really didn’t care. Everyday they shuffled thousands of tourists onto boats, off boats, back onto boats, up a hill and down again. They ran through the same tour guide prattle with a detached expression and eyes elsewhere. There was also, of course, the compulsory stop at a government tourist shop, which is never mentioned in the brochure. At every stage you are accompanied by other coach loads of tourist soap all being spun the same deal. At times the groups became so large that you couldn’t see the water for the suds, or the view for the tourists.

I liked the convenience of the tourist trail in Cambodia and Vietnam and it definitely enabled us to see more of the country within the limited time and budget we had available. However, it does feel liberating to be back in China. Yes there are touts and tours, but it is also possible to make your way around without them. You actually have to work a bit to get what you want and it’s all the more rewarding for it. Back to China, back to reality. I’m washing my hands of tourist soap.

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The Dos and Don'ts of South East Asia

Sun, sweat and scooters; trains, temples and tours; bananas, buses and lager. The tourist infrastructure in Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and Laos turns travelling into a wonderful holiday. However, alongside the tourist trade come touts and tricksters to be wary of. So to supplement your Lonely Planet/Rough Guide (delete as appropriate) here are World in Slow Motion's top tips for S.E. Asia:

Do:
- Take a sheet sleeping bag. There is a curious lack of bedding in these parts.
- Carry plenty of U.S. dollars cash. They are a useful back-up and the currency of choice in Cambodia.
- Drink bia hoi on plastic chairs in the street in Vietnam. 20p for a glass of draught lager.
- Drink fruity drink and coconuts with a straw. You can spot a fruity drink stall by the glasses of chopped fruit to which condensed milk, coconut milk and balls of sticky rice are added and served with crushed ice.
- Eat amok. This creamy Cambodian curry is the among the best food in SE Asia.
- Take the sleeper bus. A bus with beds is a sight to behold and an experience not to be missed, but don't expect to have a good kip.
- Have a massage at Seeing Hands in Siem Reap or Phnom Penh. These blind masseurs know what to do.
- Help out at Big Brother Mouse. Either chat with the children in English or buy one of their books to help promote literacy in Laos.
- Get up early to see monks collect alms at sunrise, a special sight in Luang Prabang, Laos.
- Go to the flag lowering ceremony in Hanoi, Vietnam. A triumphal affair every night at 9pm at the Ho Chi Minh memorial.
- Learn to say "no thank you" in the local language to keep the hawkers and touts at bay.
- Stay at Golden Temple Villa in Siem Reap. Excellent value and unlimited free bananas make it a winner.
- Stay at Hong Thien Hotel II, 46 Chi Van An Street, in Hue, Vietnam. Tien at reception is very helpful, but don't book a Halong Bay tour through them (see below).

Don't:
- Stay at Greenfields in Hoi An, Vietnam. Poor value and dreadful service.
- Rely on your guidebook for accommodation and eating recommendations. Use the Web, get tips from others and explore by yourself to find some real gems.
- Go on a Halong Bay, Vietnam, tour with Tuan Linh travel agency. These tours are sold through Kim Adventures and various hostels in Hanoi. The boat is broken and the guides lousy. If your boat is called the Duy Tan Junk 02, don't get on it. Electricity is intermittent and the motor may give out.
- Use the travel services at Victory Queen Hotel (formerly Old Darling Hotel), Hanoi, Vietnam. They take a whopping commission without telling you.
- Buy shoes at Cham H'Mong, 495 C'ua Dai Street, Hoi An, Vietnam. They fall apart within hours. - Buy your Cambodian visa at the 'Cambodian Consulate' in Aranya Prathet, Cambodia, it's a scam. Buy it at the desk once you'e through Thai immigration.
- Take any price as given - accommodation, food, things - all are up for negotiation. Pay what you think is fair.
- Sleep at the back of a sleeper bus. The bounce prevents sleep.
- Lose your temper with a local. If you cause someone to lose their temper they will lose face and make your life very uncomfortable as they try to regain it.
- Expect a peaceful sunrise at Angkor Wat, Siem Reap. You will be joined by hundreds of tourists all jostling for the same perfect sun-rises-over-ancient-temple photo.
- Wear shorts and sandals in Khao Yai National Park, Thailand. The leeches will eat you for breakfast.

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How to…get in to and out of Cambodia overland

Aranya Prathet, Thailand, to Poipet, Cambodia
We crossed the border into Cambodia at Aranya Prathet, one of Thailand’s five land border crossings. It was a very confusing process with little information and scams a plenty. Have your wits about you and don’t trust anyone.

Having been warned against taking the ‘direct’ bus from Thailand to Siem Reap (that apparently takes you around the houses and down the worst roads so you arrive late and tired and go to the first guesthouse the driver suggests) we made our own way to Aranya Prathet. It feels like the end of the road with little in the way of accommodation and the dredges at the bottom of the culinary barrel (including frog, lizard and bush meat).

The border is open from 7.30am to 5pm and you can buy your visa at the border. The tuk tuk journey from town (6km) should cost no more than 50 Bhat, and make sure your driver takes you to the border and not to the ‘Cambodian Consulate’. The Cambodian Consulate is a scam. The sign and building certainly look legitimate and they do sell Cambodian visas, but after one too many “sure brother’s" we got suspicious. Only it was too late; as we had handed over $30 for a visa that we later learnt should cost only $20. The best place to buy your Cambodian visa, if you haven’t got one in advance, is from the visa booth once you have gone through Thai immigration and customs. Cambodian immigration and customs are then a straightforward stamp and enter.

Poipet is an unnerving and unwelcoming entrance to a country. After the relative ease, cleanliness and smiles of Thailand, Cambodia throws dust, ragged children and deformed adults at you. Women pull carts through a cesspool of a road piled high with rubbish and mud. Going through the Angkor towers gate into Cambodia felt like walking through a portal in to another world.

Moving on from Poipet to Siem Reap or anywhere in Cambodia is a chore. The Cambodian authorities claim to have made it easier to avoid scams by providing their own irritating touts and escorts across the border. Whether you like it or not, they’ll accompany you from Aranya Prathet to Poipet and put you on a free bus to the tourist bus terminal (about 200m), where you pay corresponding tourist prices. For a bus terminal there are very few buses. You can wait for the single daily bus to Siem Reap that leaves at 3pm ($10) or share a taxi ($60). There doesn’t appear to be an alternative. The taxi turned out to be a good option (although expensive for a three hour journey) as the road to Siem Reap is dire and you need all the comfort you can get. Rumour has it that Thai Airlines pays the Cambodian government to keep this road in poor condition to encourage more people to fly.

It is a slow roller coaster ride on red mud, about as bumpy as the roads in northern Laos, but it is also a fascinating introduction to Cambodia. Dazzling fields of rice stretch as far as the eye can see with water buffalo wallowing, children playing and men fishing with nets all up to their waists in water. Given the country’s history it feels tropically eerie. These feelings were offset by the surreal as a man on motorbike went by with two rigor-mortised pigs, trotters pointing towards the heavens, strapped on the back.

The last part of the trip is finding your guesthouse in Siem Reap. On the city outskirts the taxi driver passes you over to a tuk tuk for the final leg of the journey. Make sure you have a hostel reservation, or pretend you have one, and insist on being taken there and not to the one where the driver receives commission. The tuk tuk ride is included in the taxi fare. Another irritating ‘official’ rides with you trying to sell tours of the temples. Ignore him too. Once settled Siem Reap is definitely worth the hassle, and the journey there is an unforgettable and unique part of the Cambodian adventure.

Bavet, Cambodia, to Moc Bai, Vietnam
Leaving Cambodia is a doddle in comparison to entry. The road from Phnom Penh to Vietnam is good and there are direct buses from Phnom Penh to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) that take six hours ($12). Most hostels in Phnom Penh will sell you a bus ticket with a ride to the bus terminal included in the price. Many hostels also offer a visa service ($35), perhaps the easiest way to get a visa for Vietnam. British nationals need a Vietnam visa before arriving at the border, but other nationalities, such as the Swedes, may be able to travel visa free for up to 15 days.

There is little more to say about the crossing. It was easy. You give your passport to the bus staff and they get the exit stamp for Cambodia while you are eating lunch and admiring the bling of Bavet‘s casinos. You then get off the bus to go through Vietnamese immigration and your bags are scanned at customs. Back on the bus and you’re in Vietnam.

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Life is cheap

Crossing the border from Thailand into Cambodia it soon becomes apparent we’re in a different country.

Not everything changes of course: the tropical heat is still intense; the writing just as squiggly; the large paintings along the roadsides of their monarchs with medals similarly blinged-up.

The friendly demeanour, the enticing smiles may continue, but we soon find out that these two countries share more differences than just the ongoing border dispute, (a nasty little row which has recently spilled over into out-and-out, albeit small-scale fighting.

Unlike the saying this current conflict is most certainly not good for business, at least in Cambodia’s tourist epicentre, Siem Reap. Much-needed tourist dollars are down as visitors are scared off, leaving guesthouse owners and tuk tuk drivers like our own, the curiously-named Mr Pea, competing with too many others for too little business.

And how this country of 15 million need that business. Unlike Thailand, this is a country where crushing poverty is endemic and the recent past is very dark indeed.

This starts to become apparent the moment we cross the border: hassle from hawkers increases; begging becomes commonplace.

Any westerner is a potential meal ticket and the locals go to great lengths to prise the much-valued dollar out of your willing hands (in Cambodia, the mighty Greenback is King; the local Rial currency used only as small change).

At times it becomes just plain uncomfortable. Riddled with guilt from a day spent batting away beggars in rags and scrawny waifs we sat down for dinner at a café on the street. Within minutes they had zeroed in on us, trying to flog us their pitiful wares, surveying you with hungry eyes and making each mouthful feel unjustified.
The tuk tuk drivers are incorrigible, following you into your guesthouse in a bid to secure the next day’s business: “where to tomorrow sir? Killing fields? Market?”. They usually draw the worst of my ire, but whilst you can bat them away with steely eyes and caustic curses it’s hard to deny those in greater need.

Whilst all this hassle this is often distressing, leaving you feeling powerless at best, and more often than not a cruel, cold-hearted, exploitative Westerner, there are also moments of light relief.

Top marks have to go, in a very tough field, to the young lad who tried to sell us his wares whilst stood in a water up to his knees in Siem Reap’s bus station during one of the frequent torrential downpours.

The monsoonal conditions had turned the place into the shallow end of a massive swimming pool, leaving us to board our bus wading through the its mochachino waters, trousers rolled up and shoes in hand.

But there was no stopping this indomitable little chap. He had us in his sights and, in the pouring rain he bounded over, umbrella in one hand, fruit in the other. He danced up and down on the spot, every inch of him sodden wet yet still bearing a massive grin on his face, “pineapple sir? Banana?”

His was the face of today’s Cambodia, where an incredible 40% of the population are under 15 years old.

Many of them seem to be forced to foresake some of their childhood in order to support themselves and their families, working in the fields or walking city streets, selling whatever they can.

Kids here, seem to have got the rawest deal (we couldn’t tell about older people - there didn’t seem to be any). Infant mortality is high (59 per 1000 live births) and child abuse is still a major problem. Posters aimed at Westerners, warning them of the penalties for such crimes, are a common sight in the streets and in hotels.

One skinny little girl accosted me at a temple, with the usual collection of poor-quality, photocopied Lonely planet and books about the horrors of the Khmer Rouge. Her eyes were vacant as she robotically reeled off her patter “Where from Sir ? England? Lovelyjubbly”.

Later, another girl, no older than seven, tried to impress us with her knowledge of our home country, telling us the UK’s capital, its population, and even the name of its Prime Minister. Others didn’t even bother with this, simply tugging at our sleeves and begging ‘one dollar, one dollar’.

It’s desperate, it’s miserable and it’s heartbreaking. Life in Cambodia seems very cheap indeed.

All this made it rather hard to for me to sympathise with the obnoxious American girl in a Siem Reap shop who protested indignantly ‘I can’t believe they don’t sell coke zero’.

In Phnom Penh one night we sat down for a meal at a pavement cafe, amidst the noise and exhaust fumes of a million motorbikes.

After half an hour of sitting there our tally of hawkers stood at four kids and four amputees, one chap without any limbs pushed by a young boy on a rudimentary wheelchair.

The latter are all victims of landmines, in a country still littered with these deadly, inhumane devices. In Cambodia, hundreds of people are killed or maimed by these monstrous devices every year.

I don’t know how they survive, dragging their broken bodies around the filthy, rubbish-strewn streets of Phnom Penh.

One of the poor fellows who could at least propel himself around, wobbles up to our table on crutches, a heavy box of trinkets hanging from his neck. He nods at my delicious fish curry and smiles : “Cambodia is very good yes?”

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Halloween at Choeung Ek

Halloween. A fitting day to visit Choeung Ek, more commonly known as the Killing Fields, to remember the thousands who were massacred there during the Cambodian Khmer Rouge genocide of 1975 - 1979. It is hard to remember people you never knew, and hard to come to terms with the low depths that homo sapien is, regrettably, capable of.

The Killing Fields are not a manicured memorial. Only half of the 129 mass graves have been excavated. The graves are overgrown puddles with just a few notice boards detailing where the tool shed and chemical supply (to cover the stench of the dead) used to be located. Nine thousand skulls rest inside the stupa, many showing the marks indicative of their method of slaughter. To save bullets the Khmer Rouge used hoes and pick axes to bludgeon their innocent victims to death.

How did the world stand by and let this happen? We met a British couple who had back-packed around Thailand in the 1970s. They couldn’t get in to Cambodia but didn’t know what was going on. Why didn’t people know? Were governments around the world making noise to drown out the atrocities in the same way that the Khmer Rouge played loud music to drown out the sound of those being executed? Governments must have known because their embassies in Phnom Penh remained empty for 45 months. Three and a half years.

The human fascination with the morbid is evident in the way that we enjoy dressing up as skeletons and splashing on fake blood at Halloween, and in the way that people flock to Tuol Sleng torture and detention centre. Many of the Killing Fields victims - civil servants, lawyers, academics - were first tortured at Tuol Sleng, a former secondary school. I cannot understand why the torturers catalogued each of their victims, ripping out their stomachs, painting a number on their chest and taking a photograph. Nor can I understand the people who want to go and look at the photographs taken by the torturers of their registered victims. I wonder if they’ll have their photo taken next to the photo of the dead victims? At the Killing Fields people pondered aloud “What shall I do in this photo?” It’s a dilemma isn’t it. Having stepped over and on fragments of bone and discarded clothes of the victims, the last thing I wanted was a photograph of my grinning mug next to a mass grave, with or without a stomach.

The legacy of the atrocities prevails. Landmines. There is approximately one amputee for every 290 people in Cambodia Amputees peddle books on crutches and play music for tourists. They are the lucky ones. I don’t know how others survive, such as the man crawling down the street with his four year old daughter carrying the shopping bags behind. It is heart breaking to see.

As the ghosts of the world come out to play tonight let us hope that we will never let the likes of the Khmer Rouge happen again. Let us also hope that the thirteen countries that are still producing antipersonnel mines promptly cease production. Victims of landmines and the Khmer Rouge R.I.P.

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The temples of Angkor

When visiting Cambodia the famed temples of Angkor usually perch at the top of any visitors’ must-see list.

And rightly so. Angkor must have a strong claim to truly be the 'eight wonder of the world'.

These massive, crumbling complexes, hidden away in the jungle just outside the town of Siem Reap have wowed generations of visitors and inspired many writers to put descriptive pen to paper.

So I’m not going to have a go myself. Instead we thought you might find the following tips of use when planning a visit to Angkor.

Transport

Hire a tuk tuk driver. It’s a fair drive out to the entry gates to the temple complexes and the sites themselves cover huge area.

Plus it’s likely to be hot- very hot - making walking considerable distances between the spread-out sites unviable for all but the masochistic. We hired our tuk tuk driver, the lovely Mr Pea, for a cost of about $10 a day.

Alternatively you could hire a bicycle, but be prepared for a soaking - from sweating and/or , if it’s the monsoon season, tropical downpours.

Climate

Beware of the heat. Angkor can get very hot. Only the most ambitious tourists choose to plod around in 30-plus degrees during the middle of the day, so try and visit sites in the morning and later afternoon, sticking to the shade during the hottest hours.

Even better, do like a tuk tuk driver and take along a hammock to sling up between two trees when it all gets too much!

If you happen to time your visit during the monsoon, like us, be sure to get back to Siem Reap before the clouds open for their daily downpour. Your driver will know when this is.

There is nothing quite as wet as chugging through a thunderstorm in a tuk tuk.

Provisions

Winnie the Pooh need not fret - there is plenty of food and drink on sale around the sites - this is Cambodia and you can be sure that wherever you go kids and women will be chasing you with bottles of chilled water and fresh fruit. "Hallobananamisterpineappulllll?"

Tickets

A pass to all the sites is not cheap for foreign visitors, particularly those on a tight budget. You basically have two types available to you: a one-day pass ($20) or a three-day pass($40). There is no two-day pass.

One day is simply not enough to visit more than a few sites and you’ll regret not spending more time there so we suggest you plump for the three-day pass.

However, not that if, like us, you are all templed out by the end of day two then you simply have to wave goodbye to the third day you’ve paid for (they take your photo and print it on your pass so you cannot sell it on).

Guidebook

There is so much to learn about the history of these sites. You can only start to appreciate this with a dedicated guidebook. These are hawked by street vendors and bookshops all around Siem Reap and the temples themselves.

Try and buy one from one of the many amputees (victims of landmines) who are trying to make a living. $5 is a reasonable price.

Religion

Brush up on your knowledge of Buddhism and particularly Hinduism before you visit. Both were imported from India so anyone who has visited India will notice the striking similarities.

Many of the temples of Angkor were built when the Khmers followed the Hindu faith, so even a basic knowledge of this religion and its various gods helps.

Sunrises

If you choose to view a sunrise over one of the temples be prepared to get up at an obscenely early hour.

Be sure to neck a couple of Khmer coffees before you leave your guesthouse - I don’t know what they put in them but it certainly wakes you up.

Which sites to visit?

There are so many temples to visit that it’s quite bewildering working out where to start. Everyone will have their own particular interests but we found the following sites particularly worth visiting.

Ta Prohm
Built somewhere between the late 12th-late 13th century and ‘discovered’ by the French in the 19th century, this site is unique in that it was the only one the colonialists left in pretty much the state they found it in.

This was a deliberate decision by the French so that visitors could see for themselves the impact that the natural world has on mankind’s creations if left to get on with it.

The result is absolutely stunning - you walk through a fantastical world of crumbling ruins and massive tree roots, where seedlings have grown atop the masonry and literally taken over the building like something out of Day of the Triffids. Spellbinding.

The Bayon
Situated in the very centre of the ancient city of Angkor Thom, the dilapidated ruins of this temple are striking for the number of massive faces built into the masonry.

No-one seems to be able to agree on quite how many faces there are looking up on each of the four-sided towers but its well over 200.

Weather-beaten and decorated with lichen these faces remain strangely powerful; all-seeing big brothers for the Khmer empire.

Also notable for its bas-reliefs, featuring thousands of individuals figures, generally having a good ruck in one of the various Hindu tales.

Angkor Wat
To many the Daddy of them all, although I’m inclined to disagree. But then I was dragged out of bed at 4.30am to come and see the sunrise here only to find another five hundred other grumpy tourists already there all fighting each other for a view and a people-free space at which to aim their little digital screen.

But don’t let that put you off. Angkor Wat is spectacular and, once you’ve left the crowds behind you are free to wander the cloisters and extensive crowds, with little interruption.

Designed as an entire microcosm of the Hindu universe, featuring a quincunx of towers and the most ambitious carvings you’ll ever see, Angkor Wat is an architectural marvel you won’t forget.

Even if Angelina has long since packed her hotpants are headed off to Africa.

Phnom Bakheng
A crumbling old edifice atop a hill which affords wonderful views across the flat landscape.

With the huge, grand old flights of stairs leading up to the top in a state of severe disrepair we walked up a deserted track skirting around the hill in order to reach the temple.

Be warned: whilst most temples have some sets of steep and exceedingly narrow steps, Phnom Bakheng’s are particularly challenging.

Preah Khan
Another temple seemingly succumbing to the vegetation where, like Ta Prohm, Strangler Figs and Silk Cotton Trees threaten to outshine the buildings themselves as the star attraction.

Crumbling masonry, intricate designs carved into the Sandstone, fragile stone lintels propped up by groaning timbers, massive heaps of rubble: Preah Khan’s got it all.

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